Getting seated
In most places — even casual ones — you wait near the entrance to be seated rather than grabbing any open table. Staff will ask how many people (nan-mei sama / nan-nin). Easiest answer: hold up fingers and say the count, e.g. 'futari' (two). They may ask counter or table — at sushi, ramen, and small spots a counter seat (kaunta-) is normal, fast, and great for solo diners. Watch for a 'please wait to be seated' sign or a host stand; if there's a ticket machine or a waitlist tablet at the door, use it.
- 'Futari desu' (two people) + holding up two fingers covers 90% of seatings.
- Counter seats are the move when you're solo or in a hurry — no awkward big-table wait.
- If you see a clipboard or tablet at the entrance, write your name/number and wait to be called.
The oshibori (wet towel)
Once seated you'll get an oshibori — a damp towel, hot in winter, cold in summer, sometimes a sealed wet wipe in casual places. It's for wiping your hands before eating. Locals do not use it on their face or neck (older men sometimes do, but it reads as a bit uncouth). Fold it loosely and set it aside when done; you can use it to dab your hands again during the meal.
- Wipe your hands with it before eating
- Set it neatly aside after — you can reuse it through the meal
- Don't wipe your face, neck, or the table with it
- Don't use it as a napkin for spills
Free water & tea
You'll almost always get free water (o-mizu) or tea (o-cha) automatically, often self-serve from a dispenser or a pitcher left on the table. It's genuinely free and refillable — no upsell. In summer it's iced water; at traditional and soba/udon places it's often hot green tea. If you want more, catch staff and say 'o-mizu onegaishimasu' (water, please).
- Water/tea is free and unlimited — you never pay for it.
- Self-serve water stations are common at gyudon and family restaurants — grab a cup yourself.
- No need to order a drink to justify your seat (except the otoshi at izakaya — see below).
Ordering: getting staff's attention
Japanese staff won't hover or check on you constantly — that's good service here, not neglect. When you're ready, you summon them. Three ways: (1) Call out 'Sumimasen!' clearly across the room — totally normal and polite, not rude. (2) Press the call button on the table if there is one (common at izakaya and chains) — it buzzes and someone comes. (3) Make eye contact and raise a hand. To order, point at the menu or photo and add 'kore o kudasai' (this, please) or 'X o onegaishimasu'.
- Call staff over when YOU'RE ready — they intentionally give you space
- Point at photos on the menu — it's expected and welcomed
- Don't sit silently waiting to be checked on — flag staff yourself
- Don't snap fingers or wave aggressively — a clear 'sumimasen' is enough
- 'Sumimasen!' across the room is the standard, polite way to call staff — don't whisper it.
- Look for a button on the table edge labeled 呼出 (yobidashi / call) — press it.
- Pointing at the menu + 'kore, onegaishimasu' works everywhere when words fail.
Ticket machines (ramen & gyudon shops)
At many ramen, gyudon (beef bowl), and cheap-eats shops you order and pay BEFORE sitting, at a vending machine (shokken-ki) near the door. Flow: put cash or tap your IC card / card, press the button for your dish (top-left is usually the shop's signature bowl), grab the printed ticket(s), then sit and hand the ticket to staff or set it on the counter. Many machines now have an English-language toggle. If you're stuck, press the picture that looks right — toppings and extras (egg, extra noodles 'kaedama') are usually separate buttons. Change comes out of the machine.
- Top-left button is usually the house special — a safe default.
- Look for an 'English' language button on the screen-based machines.
- Buy a ticket, sit, hand it over — don't try to order verbally first.
- At ramen shops, 'kaedama' is a cheap extra portion of noodles you can buy when your broth's still there.
Otoshi: the izakaya 'mystery charge'
At an izakaya (Japanese pub) you'll often be served a small dish you didn't order — pickles, a bit of stew, edamame — shortly after sitting. This is otoshi (also called tsukidashi). It's not free and not a scam: it's effectively a seat/cover charge, usually ~300-500 yen per person, and it's standard izakaya practice. You can't really decline it, and it's a signal the place runs on the traditional izakaya model. Think of it as the table charge bundled with a snack. It'll appear on your bill.
- Otoshi appears mostly at izakaya, not at restaurants or ramen shops.
- It's a per-person cover charge (~300-500 yen) — expect it, don't dispute it.
- Getting a small dish you didn't order = normal. It's the otoshi.
Itadakimasu & gochisousama
Before eating, say 'itadakimasu' — a small ritual of gratitude, roughly 'I humbly receive (this meal)'. A quiet version with a slight bow is fine; nobody expects volume. When you finish, say 'gochisousama deshita' (it was a feast / thank you for the meal) — say it to staff on the way out too, and it lands as a warm, genuine thank-you. These two phrases instantly read as 'this person gets it'.
- 'Itadakimasu' before the first bite; 'gochisousama deshita' when done.
- Say 'gochisousama deshita' to the chef/staff as you leave — it's a real compliment.
- A soft, quick version is perfect — no need to perform it.
Slurping & noodle etiquette
Slurping noodles — ramen, soba, udon — is genuinely fine and even seen as a sign you're enjoying it (and it cools the noodles). Don't worry about being loud. Eat ramen fast while it's hot; lingering lets the noodles go soft. For broth, it's fine to lift the bowl and drink directly, or use the spoon. Soba/udon shops are quick-turnaround — eat, don't camp.
- Slurp noodles freely — it's normal and even encouraged
- Eat ramen promptly while hot; lift the bowl to drink broth
- Don't stick chopsticks upright in rice (funeral imagery)
- Don't pass food chopstick-to-chopstick (also funeral imagery)
Izakaya flow: 'toriaezu, biiru'
Izakaya are for grazing and drinking over time, not one big plate. The classic opener is 'toriaezu, biiru' — 'a beer for now, to start' — while everyone scans the menu. Then you order small shared plates in waves as you go, not all at once. Drinks: order in rounds, raise glasses with 'kanpai!' (cheers) before the first sip. It's polite to pour for others rather than yourself, and they'll pour for you. Pace is relaxed; you keep ordering until someone calls for the bill.
- 'Toriaezu, biiru' = the universal 'beers to start while we decide'.
- Order small plates in waves throughout, not all upfront.
- Pour for your companions; let them pour for you. Don't fill your own glass first.
- 'Kanpai!' (cheers) before drinking — clink glasses.
Conveyor-belt sushi (kaiten-zushi)
At kaiten-zushi, plates circle on a belt — grab what you want as it passes. Most modern chains also have a touchscreen to order fresh-made items that arrive on a small express belt or trolley. Plates are color-coded by price; the staff count your stacked plates at the end (or the screen tallies). Free green tea is usually self-serve: there's powdered matcha and a hot-water tap at your seat. Soy sauce, ginger, and wasabi are on the table. Grab a plate only if you'll eat it — don't put returned plates back on the belt.
- Use the touchscreen for fresh orders; the belt is for grab-and-go.
- Plate color = price tier; your stack gets counted at checkout.
- Hot water tap + matcha powder at the seat = free self-serve tea.
- Only take a plate you'll actually eat — never return one to the belt.
Splitting the bill, paying & no tipping
You almost always pay at the register (reji) by the exit, not at your table — bring the check slip they left on your table up to the front. Splitting the bill item-by-item ('separate checks') is uncommon and can fluster staff; among friends people often pay one total and settle up between themselves (warikan = splitting evenly), or one person treats. Card and IC-card payment are widely accepted in cities, but carry some cash for smaller shops. And the big one: there is no tipping in Japan, ever — not at restaurants, taxis, or hotels. Leaving extra cash will confuse staff or get you chased down to return it. Good service is the baseline, already included.
- Take the check slip to the register near the exit to pay
- Carry some cash — small shops may be cash-only
- Settle splits among yourselves; 'warikan' means split evenly
- Don't tip — anywhere, any amount. It's not done and can cause confusion
- Don't expect itemized separate checks — pay one total when you can
- Don't wait for staff to bring a card machine to the table — go to the register
Lines are normal — and a good sign
Seeing a queue outside a tiny restaurant? That's a feature, not a problem. Japanese diners happily line up for good food, and an orderly wait is part of the culture — popular ramen and lunch spots routinely have lines that move fast. A line often means the place is worth it. Join the end, wait your turn, and don't try to talk your way in ahead. Many places only seat full parties, so a line of solos at the counter moves quicker than it looks.
- A line usually means the food's good and the wait is worth it.
- Lines move faster than they look, especially for counter seats.
- Join the back, wait quietly — queue-jumping is a serious faux-pas.